• Jan MacKell Collins

Sometimes You Need a Fresh Start

Somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain, way in the back, are these filing cabinets. They are in total dishevel, with old, worn papers sticking out of the drawers, yellowed with time, their corners bent and torn. When I open the drawers, manilla folders spill out. Most of them are filled with items pertaining to the subject scrawled on the bent and well-used tab, give or take my misguided attempt at filing them where I will find them. And oh God the cobwebs, which get only temporarily swept away when I open the files, but upon closing the drawer, one look at the cabinets themselves is a tell-tale sign that my attempts are somewhat futile. When you have written thousands of articles, unpublished manuscripts, scripts, ideas and a healthy sprinkling of books, everything gets kind of modged together into one big untidy mess. And this vexes me.

In the world outside of my brain, I've had a filing cabinet or ten since I was just a kid. Something about their orderliness has always given my OCD mind comfort. I used to keep random clippings, writings, torn-out magazine articles and scads of mostly useless information in them, certain I would use them one day. And I have, to a point, but a few years ago after I realized I had lugged some forty file boxes across the country, I had to draw the line. So beginning in about 2013, I spent a winter perched in front of my wood stove, feeding the flames with everything I deemed useless. I now have three matching four-drawer cabinets at my disposal, and have limited what I allow myself to keep to them and no more. And yet I still pluck and burn, refile and chuck, and find myself in endless quandaries about what I need to keep.

Wouldn't you know the same damn thing has happened with my Wordpress blog, which I've kept up since 2014. The whole thing has become a mishmash of regurgitated articles I've published time and time again. There is little that is fresh to anyone except those readers who haven't known me for long. Even so, two articles a month (or sometimes one per month, and other times one each week) have built up a substantial inventory of rehashed, rewritten articles. I'm sick of looking at them. And, my hard work has garnered a mere 78 followers. What to do?

Well, one thing I've decided is that it's easier to have a blog spurring from my website than using Wordpress. I can insert more pictures to tell the story, get a fresh start on something that does not resemble those cobwebby filing cabinets in my head, write what I want to, and share stories and history with you, my readers. You wouldn't be reading this at all if you didn't know I absolutely love history, and that my heart is engulfed with that love. I want people, places and events to be remembered. I especially feel that way about my ladies of the night, who have been forgotten and deserve to tell their stories. There are others too, and I'm happy to share everything and everybody with you. So hold tight, hang on and stay tuned, and thanks for being a fan of my work. Let's see what happens now.



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© 2019 by Jan MacKell Collins